In the age of smartphones, social media and instant communication, the way we grieve, remember and honour the departed has undergone a profound transformation in recent years.
The eulogy, once a solemn speech delivered in person, in a church, crematorium or funeral home, has slowly evolved into what can now be a dynamic, multimedia experience that transcends physical boundaries and time.
Technology and social media have reshaped, not only how we say hello, but how we say goodbye; creating new opportunities for connection, expression and remembrance.
In this blog I wanted to explore how and why eulogies have changed in the modern era and examines the impact of these shifts might have on us all during the grieving process we experience at some point.
The Traditional Eulogy: A Brief Reflection
Before we move forward into the future, let's look back a little to the past.
Traditionally, a eulogy was always a spoken tribute delivered by a close friend, family member or celebrant at a funeral or memorial service.
It was a moment to collectively reflect on the life of the deceased, share personal anecdotes and offer comfort to those in mourning.
The eulogy served as a formal acknowledgment of loss and a celebration of life, often steeped in cultural and religious traditions.
While the essence of the eulogy - honouring a life lost - remains unchanged, the way we deliver and experience it has shifted dramatically.
The rise of technology and social media has introduced new ways to commemorate loved ones, making farewells more accessible, inclusive and enduring.
The Digital Age & The Modern Eulogy: Expanding the Reach of Farewells
One of the most significant changes brought about by technology is the ability to share eulogies with a global audience.
In the past, only those physically present at a funeral could hear a eulogy. Today, live-streaming services allow people from around the world to participate in real-time, ensuring that distance is no longer a barrier to saying goodbye.
Platforms like Zoom, Twitch, Facebook Live and YouTube have become essential tools for hosting virtual memorials.
These services enable families to broadcast funerals and eulogies to friends and relatives who cannot attend in person.
For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, when travel and large gatherings were largely restricted, live-streamed funerals became the norm simply out of necessity, allowing people to grieve together despite being apart.
Whilst the pandemic is now, thankfully, in our collective rear-view mirror, virtual funerals haven't completely gone away.
There's no denying that this shift has made farewells more inclusive, ensuring that no one is excluded from the grieving process due to geography, health or other constraints.
It has also created a sense of community, as people from different parts of the world can come together to honour a loved one, but what does the future hold for how we mourn and how we display that grief?
Social Media: A New Platform for Remembrance
In the last decade or so, social media has fundamentally altered how we remember and celebrate the lives of those we’ve lost.
Social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and X (formerly Twitter) have become digital spaces for sharing memories, photos and tributes. Even, in many cases, for announcing the death of loved ones.
In many ways, social media has democratised the eulogy, allowing anyone to contribute to the collective remembrance of the deceased.
When someone passes away, it’s now common to see their social media profiles flooded with heartfelt messages, stories and photos.
These posts serve as unofficial modern-day eulogies, offering a glimpse into the impact the person had on others.
Unlike traditional eulogies, which are often delivered by a single speaker, social media allows for a chorus of voices, hopefully all positive, each adding their unique perspective to the narrative of the deceased’s life.
Memorial pages on Facebook, for instance, provide a dedicated space for friends and family to share memories and condolences.
These pages often become digital archives, preserving the legacy of the deceased for years to come.
Similarly, hashtags on X and Instagram allow people to participate in a broader conversation about the person’s life, creating a sense of unity and shared grief.
Multimedia Eulogies: Beyond Words
Modern technology has also expanded the scope of what a eulogy can be. In addition to spoken or written tributes, modern eulogies often incorporate multimedia elements such as videos, slideshows and music.
These additions can make the tribute more personal and impactful, capturing the essence of the deceased in ways that words alone cannot.
For example, a video montage of family photos and home videos can evoke powerful emotions, bringing the person’s life story to life.
Similarly, playing their favourite song or sharing a recording of their voice can create a deeply personal connection for those in mourning. These multimedia eulogies are often shared online, allowing others to experience the tribute even if they couldn’t attend the service.
The use of technology in eulogies also reflects the changing ways we document our lives.
In the past, memories were preserved in photo albums and handwritten letters. Today, our lives are chronicled in digital formats; whether that's photos on Instagram, videos on TikTok and status updates on Facebook.
It’s only natural that our farewells would follow suit, incorporating the digital artefacts that define our modern existence.
The Rise of Crowdsourced Eulogies
Another notable trend is the rise of crowdsourced eulogies, where multiple people contribute to a single tribute. Whilst they may not coherently represent the whole person or create a eulogy in the traditional sense, they do offer the opportunity to highlight their 'greatest hits'.
This approach reflects the collaborative nature of social media and the idea that no one person will know, so can't fully capture, the complexity of another's life.
That said, crowdsourced eulogies can take many forms.
For example, a family might create an online memorial where friends and relatives can submit their memories and stories. These contributions can then be compiled into a book, video, or digital presentation.
Alternatively, a hashtag might be used to collect tributes on social media, creating a mosaic of memories that paint a fuller picture of the deceased.
This collaborative approach not only honours the deceased but also provides comfort to those left behind.
By sharing their stories, people can find solace in knowing that their loved one touched so many lives. It also fosters a sense of community, as people come together to celebrate a life well-lived.
The Impact on Grief and Healing
The integration of technology and social media into the grieving process has both positive and negative implications.
On one hand, it provides new avenues for expression and connection, helping people navigate their grief in meaningful ways. On the other hand, it can also create challenges, particularly when it comes to privacy and the permanence of digital content.
For many, the ability to share memories and tributes online can be therapeutic. It allows people to process their emotions, connect with others who are grieving and find comfort in the collective remembrance of the deceased.
Social media can also serve as a virtual support network, offering a space for people to express their feelings and receive condolences.
However, the public nature of social media can also complicate the grieving process.
Not everyone is comfortable sharing their grief online, and the pressure to post a tribute can feel overwhelming. If you are overcome with grief for family or friends, not posting something suitable or timely online can be seen as disrespectful. Social media can be brutal, even when mourning.
Additionally, the permanence of digital content means that memories of the deceased remain accessible long after the initial period of mourning has passed.
While this can be a source of comfort, it can also make it difficult for some people to move forward.
The Loss of Personal Touch: A Drawback of Digital Eulogies
While the digital transformation of eulogies has brought many benefits to many people, it is not without its drawbacks.
One significant concern is the potential loss of the personal touch that characterises traditional farewells. Can a WhatsApp or text message really replace a condolense card writtern and / or delivered personally?
In a physical setting, the act of gathering together, sharing tears and hearing a eulogy delivered in person creates an intimate and emotionally resonant experience.
The warmth of a hug, the sound of a voice cracking with emotion and the shared silence of a room filled with mourners are irreplaceable elements of the grieving process.
Digital eulogies, while accessible and inclusive, can sometimes feel detached or impersonal, reducing the depth of human connection that comes from being physically present.
A pre-recorded video, WhatsApp message or a post on social media, no matter how heartfelt, may lack the immediacy and raw emotion of a live tribute.
Additionally, the curated nature of online memorials can sometimes gloss over the complexities of a person’s life, presenting an idealised version that may not fully capture who they were.
As we embrace the convenience and reach of digital farewells, it’s important to strike a balance, ensuring that technology enhances rather than diminishes the deeply personal act of saying goodbye.
Preserving Legacies in the Digital Age
One of the most profound ways technology has changed farewells is by enabling us to preserve legacies in ways that were previously impossible (or unimaginable).
Digital memorials, online obituaries and social media profiles ensure that the memories of our loved ones endure long after they are gone.
For example, platforms like Legacy.com allow families to create online obituaries that include photos, videos and virtual guest books.
Many of the social media platforms including Facebook and Instagram also offer the opportunity for those who have passed away to have their account memorialised by their family, rather than simply deleted or left abandoned.
This way, their social media profiles can remain 'active' after a person’s death, serving as a lasting tribute to their life.
These digital memorials can be accessed by anyone, anywhere, at any time, ensuring that the deceased’s story is never forgotten.
Going one step further, in some cases, technology of the future may even allow us to interact with the deceased in new ways.
For instance, AI-powered tools may soon (if they're not there already) to be in a position to analyse a person’s digital footprint, such as their social media posts, emails and text messages, to create a virtual avatar that mimics their personality and speech patterns.
While this technology is still in its infancy, it raises fascinating questions about how we might remember and connect with loved ones in the future. Does that interest or horrify you? Let me know in the comments below.
The PostScript
Whatever you feel about this move to a more digital farewell, the modern eulogy is a reflection of our increasingly connected, digital world.
Technology and social media have transformed how we say goodbye, making farewells more inclusive, collaborative and enduring.
While these changes come with challenges, they also offer new opportunities for connection, expression and healing.
As we continue to navigate the complexities of grief in the digital age, it’s important to remember that the essence of a eulogy remains the same: to honour a life and celebrate the impact it had on others.
Whether delivered in a church, shared on social media, or preserved in a digital memorial, the eulogy serves as a testament to the enduring power of love and memory.
In this new era of farewells, technology has given us the tools to ensure that no life is forgotten, and that no one has to grieve alone.
Thans for Itaking the time to read this blog and I hope that you enjoyed it. As we get more comfortable with a digital goodbye, I'd love to know what you think. Is it something you'd be interested in for your own funeral? Have you been to a virtual funeral? What was it like? Did it honour the deceased? Let me know in the comments below.
Remember that I post a new blog every Monday on this website and also on my Substack so please check back regularly for more content.
If you need any help in writing a eulogy, virtual or otherwise, I'd be honoured to help. Please take a look at my services and if you need any advice or guidance, please get in touch with me.
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